Mr. Personality The first thing that popped into my head when I was introduced to Jack, a fifteen year old thoroughbred that had been purchased for the newly formed Delaware State Police mounted patrol was that this horse doesn’t have any personality. He didn’t look frightened, he was just all tucked up into himself, eyes dull and interested in nothing. He tolerated the attention he was given and he did as he was told but there just didn’t seem to be any spark to him. Even if I wasn’t a student of Parelli Natural Horsemanship I would have recognized this behavior pattern. He reminded me of my very first horse, Max. When I met Max, a nine year old appaloosa gelding that had been taken over in lieu of board payments; he was being used in a lesson program. I thought he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen and he was a dream for a novice rider like me. Max had been professionally trained and if I could just approximate the correct aid, he would immediately respond. I was looking for a horse at the time and quickly arranged to purchase him for the princely sum of $1,750, which was a lot of money in 1981. I knew Max was a treasure but it didn’t seem to me that he had much of a personality. He was quiet and obedient to a fault, but didn’t seem to be interested in anything. He was always at the back of his stall, usually facing away from the door. He never fussed when I groomed him or went to tack him up but he always seemed to be mentally somewhere else. In 1981 I had never heard of natural horsemanship so I would not have recognized the traits of a right brain introvert or know what to do if I had, but by shear happenstance I took the right approach with him by spending hours of mostly undemanding time. He was my first horse and I loved to be with him. I brushed him until his coat was soft and shiny. I walked him to the best patches of grass and sat quietly while he grazed. I fed him endless carrots. Slowly but surely his personality emerged and he began to show interest in what was going on around him. He nickered to me when he heard my voice and he nosed my pockets for carrots. Everyone at the barn noticed the changes in Max and he became the barn favorite wherever he was stabled. I wish I had known something about natural horsemanship while I owned Max because I know that I made lots of mistakes with him. I wasn’t always sensitive to his fears. I pushed him past thresholds many times and sometimes when I put him out in the field after a lesson or trail ride he would wheel and run back to the herd. Still, even with my mistakes we had a wonderful relationship and for the 23 years that I owned him, he was a true partner. Now Jack was presenting me with a do-over, a chance to take what I had learned from studying Parelli, add it to what I had learned from Max and see if I could help this quiet horse’s natural personality to emerge without committing the mistakes I had made in the past. The first time I took Jack from the field, he didn’t even have the confidence to walk next to me. Because he is so obedient, he came, but he walked at the end of however much line I allowed him to take. I played lots of friendly game at first, acquainting Jack with the carrot stick and used a 22’ line so he could have as much drift as he needed. He seemed so mentally ‘somewhere else’ and had such a lack of curiosity that I decided to start with the ‘Touch It’ game. We walked all over the inside arena with me driving from zone 3. At first Jack didn’t have the confidence to touch anything. He would approach and stop right next to an object but couldn’t’ put his nose on anything. I just waited for a while before asking him to head off to something else. I didn’t force him to do anything, just asked and allowed. Before long he was beginning to sniff and then finally began to touch. After he touched the first object, a jump standard, he actually turned him head to me and asked a question! By the end of our first session when I took Jack back to his field, he was walking next to me and when I turned him out; he just stood with me and let me give him a good scratch on his neck. In our next session, I played a modified catching game with Jack out in his field. He came to me right away but before I could put the halter on he walked away. I followed him for a few steps but he when he went behind the run-in shed, I decided to stop and wait to see what would happened. After a few minutes, Jack’s head popped around the end of the shed. I could just see him processing the idea that there were actually humans wouldn’t chase him! I waited a few more moments and he came over to me but left again. So I waited again. This time he circumvented the run-in shed and came up to me from the other direction. I gave him a cookie and he dropped his head and let me put on the halter. By our third session I had already moved from the 22’ line to a feather-light line. With Max I am sure that there were many times my body language was shouting but with Jack I am determined to have my movements whisper. He is so sensitive that the slightest of signal could seem loud. We started playing the circle game and my send is quiet and subtle. He is already walking and trotting in a circle. He checks in and asks questions. I work hard to apply the lessons I have learned about working with a right brain introvert. I am rigorous about making sure Jack is looking at me before I ask him to do anything. I go slowly, at his pace. If he hesitates, I wait. If he looks unconfident, I wait. I use repetition until he is calm and confident. With Max, I often insisted he do what I asked, with Jack I allow. I find myself constantly monitoring my actions and his reactions. Cause and effect. By our sixth session he is chewing on the end of my carrot stick and picking up plastic flowers from the jump standards. He noses my pockets for cookies and draws toward me at a trot. He pushes the green ball and backs over a rail on the ground. His ears are pricked and his attention is on me. I see a flash of exuberance on the circle. It is fleeting but it is there and I am thrilled with our progress. Session by session I can see Jack turning into Mr. Personality. In my horsemanship journey, I am fortunate that Max was my first partner. He was so obedient and so well trained, that despite my shortcomings, I was able to build a relationship and learn the basics from him. But without the understanding of Horsenality that I have gotten from Parelli Natural Horsemanship, I would probably still be making the same mistakes, pushing Jack through thresholds and harming our relationship. I’ve accomplished as much in my first six hours working with Jack as I did in the first sixty working with Max. What a gift it is to have this chance at do-over. I am sure that Max is looking down from horse heaven and smiling.